Australia Newsletter March 2011
I do not perceive my own best interests
| Teaching From Jesus
"The aim of our curriculum, unlike the goal of the world's learning, is the recognition that judgment in the usual sense is impossible. This is not an opinion but a fact. In order to judge anything rightly, one would have to be fully aware of an inconceivably wide range of things; past, present and to come. One would have to recognize in advance all the effects of his judgments on everyone and everything involved in them in any way. And one would have to be certain there is no distortion in his perception, so that his judgment would be wholly fair to everyone on whom it rests now and in the future. Who is in a position to do this? Who except in grandiose fantasies would claim this for himself?
Guidance is of the Holy Spirit, how knows the Big picture and is leading the mind away from it’s fixation and dependence on form, into abstraction; Home, to God. Often Guidance is not understood at first, because the mind that is identified with form that thinks it knows where safety lies cannot comprehend how letting go of this could be right, or helpful. It is only through following the Guidance that the Answer is revealed, as an experience of lightness, of trust, and of joy. The sense of trust and joy will not be experienced until the Guidance is followed completely. Half measures or compromises only result in delay, pain and confusion, so the sooner Guidance is followed, the sooner clarity and happiness is experienced."
ACIM: Manual for Teachers M.10.3.3
A Lesson in Love
By Melanie Doyle
I have recently returned from a trip to Brisbane where the Holy Spirit guided me to visit my mother after a period of 18 months of no communication other than some emails.
At first I was doubtful that this was actually the guidance, so I said, okay there has to be another reason for me to go to Brisbane Holy Spirit...I didn't have to wait long. An hour and a half later an old friend from Brisbane called on my mobile and left a glorious message of reconnection; we had been out of communication for about two years. I had my confirmation, I was to go to Brisbane.
The desire to see my mother had been uncovered through an exercise I had been doing from Jeshua in The Way of Mastery. He asked me to place my hand on my heart and ask the question "What do I truly desire"...over and over you ask, see what images come, write them down. Place the paper aside, do it again a couple of days later. When you have a collection of seven or so pieces of paper, you go through them and look for the common threads. These are your way home Jeshua says...give them to the Holy Spirit and follow the prompts.
Over and over I had written that I wanted to give my mother a hug. In worldly terms it would seem as if my mother and I had a long history of a tumultuous relationship which included many periods throughout our lives where there was little to no contact...each stuck in our "positions".
The time had come to follow this thread of my desire for healing, even though I had no idea what it would look like, or how it would turn out in form. With the Holy Spirit I booked my flights, praying each step of the way..."when will I go, where will I stay, when do I come back" etc.
Each step taken was a joyous unfolding of one miracle after another. I was guided to stay with my beautiful friend Elf in Brisbane for a night...she sheparded me like an angel off in the direction of my mothers’ house.
I had a vision of taking my mother some flowers. I thought this was a bit "corny" really and didn't know how it was to happen anyway as I was in a town (Ipswich) I've never been to, and no time to go searching for flowers. As I left Elf's place I headed out onto the highway. I was so focussed on the driving, paying little attention to anything else, when an enormous sign came into my awareness...it said "stop and smell the roses, cut flowers here". I pulled over, just laughing at the orchestration of the Holy Spirits’ plan.
Well the flowers undid me completely. I sat in the car after purchasing them and cried and cried with the realisation that "I've done this to myself". I've spent my whole life pushing my mother away; she is where I have projected out my self hatred, the cause of my pain and suffering. It was her fault. "What have I done?" was the thought in my mind. I let the tears flow and flow they did! Wow, I was floored. I had read Jesus' teachings over and over that anything I was perceiving was in my own mind, but on this particular issue I really did think he'd gotten it wrong!! It really was coming from "out there". Why would I choose a mother who seemed to hate me so much? Hmmm, well the answer was shining bright and clear in my mind. I'd set it up that way. There was no one "out there", there was only the ego projecting its’ enormous belief in guilt, pain and suffering onto the screen. It was time for forgiveness.
I felt to call Michael and I looked down to my phone and whilst in the flower shop he had sent me a beautiful text message congratulating me on following my desire for healing and that it was already done! Ha...I laughed and called him and shared my learning. Then I hung up and cried a whole lot more. Somewhere in my mind I saw the thought "I hope I can get all this crying over with before I get to my mothers’ place." There it was, the constant offering of hardness to my mother; never braving to show my true feelings. Well there was no chance of that, the prompt for the flowers had brought me completely undone, there was no possibility of putting a mask back on! I thanked Jesus as I realised the flowers were as much for me as they were for my mum!
The story really ends here for me as the decision for love had been made in my mind. I saw that I could not be a victim of the world I see. I saw that I was totally in love with my mother and there was no point in hiding it. I saw that we were both beautiful and innocent. I was free.
As an aside, I did not stop the tears when I got to my mothers’ house...it seemed beyond my capability! There were tears and hugs and what followed was three days of beautiful soft joinings, culminating in a lunch on my final day where we sat and held hands across the table, each one declaring what was true for us and taking full responsibility for our own minds!! What a miracle! Thank you, thank you Jesus.
So I invite you, if there is an unheard prayer of your heart to answer it with a loud YES! Each time I heard a "no" in my mind, I was guided to say YES, and the healing has been glorious.
Thank you Father.
"I do not know what anything, including this, means. And so I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now." ACIM T.14.V.XI
"Feel You Like a River" by ATB
I do not perceive my own best interests
"In no situation that arises do you realize the outcome that would make you happy. Therefore, you have no guide to appropriate action, and no way of judging the result. What you do is determined by your perception of the situation, and that perception is wrong. It is inevitable, then, that you will not serve your own best interests. Yet they are your only goal in any situation which is correctly perceived.
Otherwise, you will not recognize what they are."
Don't Judge It – by Greg Ough
Flowing With the River
By Peter Kirk
I was sitting with Helena on the sandy bank of the river. The clear water sparkled as it gently passed by, making its way out to sea. The last few days of the Mystery Bay retreat had been like a washing machine, with each movie, talk and joining, loosening away at my identity within this world. I fell into a bit of a free-fall and I couldn't prop myself up on the old self concepts, but the word Trust kept coming to mind. I was surrounded by loving brothers in a beautiful place. It felt like all of my surroundings were held safe within the giant hands of God. The Trust I felt within my mind was leading me inwards, and I sensed this vertical presence that I'd heard talked about before. It was like a ray shining down upon me and there within lay a stillness. Going there I felt the motion of the world soften and fade and I got a sense that this was the true experience of prayer. I was spending this quiet time with my Father.
And this is what led me to that quiet river bank. As I sat with Helena, gazing at the ripples, I thought about my week's experiences and really felt that "I do not know what anything is for". When it comes to my perception of the world I truly don't know what anything means, and being such, do not know the best way to proceed. Trust felt like all I could do. The river reminded me of Spirit's flow back to the awareness of God's presence. Like a leaf being carried out to sea, I too just wanted to be carried, and felt that it was all I could do just to be willing. That's where such lightness comes in, it's not about me analysing, thinking I can perceive my own best interest. No, it's just about lifting my heels out of the sand and letting myself be carried. What a weight off that it isn't about me figuring it all out!
I came into the retreat hoping my next steps would be made clear. My job was wrapping up and I felt it was time for a change of scenery, but I wasn't sure where. Newcastle was still in mind from my experience at the Kangaroo Valley Retreat where I thought that it would be the next move. The thought of community living appealed to me but I wasn't sure how or when it would take place. The retreat had barely started when the possibility came in of me staying in Yowrie and Sue said that it felt good. I was surprised at how easily it came in, also how quickly the idea settled into my mind. The thought of having a longer term stay at Yowrie hadn't crossed my mind before…and it wasn't really my picture of Newcastle, but something felt so settled about the idea. Later on I talked to Sue, Greg and Colin about it again and felt so warmed by their welcoming invitation. It was settled, it all happened so effortlessly. I still don't know how it will be used and what miracles will spring forth, but it seems to make sense and be an answer to what I've truly been calling for, to go deeper into the experience of miracle mindedness.
I just want to send all my love to Sue, Greg and Colin. Thank you for your warm welcome, I'm looking forward to our time together! And thanks to all of my Mighty Companions who have opened their hearts to this calling and whom I walk with hand in hand.
Love & blessings, Peter